xlovebecomesher: (Lost My Heart)
[personal profile] xlovebecomesher
Have you ever had that instant connection with someone where you realize that your soul has found a missing piece of itself? That moment where you know that this person is irrevocably going to change your life in some way? That moment that if you don't follow through on that connection, you know that somehow, your life will sadder for they were not in your life?

Sometimes you don't even remember those specific moments long after they have passed. You look at each other and you ask each other "How exactly did we meet again?"

That would be my elementary school friend, Sara. I don't remember how we met beyond that it was in 5th grade. I assume it had to be math class as we were not in the same homeroom. Beyond that, I could not tell you what our first meeting with like.  But to my mother's dismay, we became best friends and were such for years. I say dismay, because she was that friend who thought it was a good plan to light paper towels on fire and throw them off our 11th floor balcony just to see if "what goes up, must come down." She was also the friend who thought it was a great idea to grafitti the walls of my building by writing mean things about our classmates. Despite my mother's lack of love for her, I loved her anyways because she made me laugh and brought out that mischevious side of me.

Other times, they are moments that stick out forever in your mind.

Like the time in 5th grade, I was the new girl in school and I couldn't figure out how to make friends as everyone else had already paired off. I asked the recess monitor who did she recommend for me to try and be friends with? My mom always taught me if I didn't know something, I should ask and I thought that was a good question to ask. The recess monitor pointed me to a girl standing by herself at the monkey bars in her sparkly tennis shoes. I thought about it for a moment but I decided to follow through - what's the worse she was going to say? I walked over to her and asked her if she wanted to play. From that day on, we became inseperable for years; some joked we were soulmates. I couldn't argue with that. I would have missed knowing her had I not asked; my story would not have been the same today.

Or in 7th grade, when I made friends with a girl who lived in the building behind mine. We decided we would start walking home from school together so that neither one of us had to walk home alone. The second day that we decided to walk home together, she asked me if I would be willing to wait for the new girl she had just met in one of her classes who just moved to our neighborhood. I told her of course. No one should have to walk home alone. We waited for the new girl to meet us in front of the school and when she joined us and we began walking home, I knew at that moment that this new girl would be my best friend. Almost 20 years later, she is still my best friend and has a piece of my soul.

Or the time, at a bar-mitzvah, when I was 12 years old, I tried to spill salad into my fourth grade enemy's lap because he called me a name. I called him a name in turn; if I'm not mistaking my inappropriate retort was calling him a slut. I had just learned that word not long before this bar-mitzvah. The boy sitting next to my fourth grade enemy, sitting uncomfortable in a tan suit and black shirt, remarked drolly, that you can't call boys sluts. I snarkily responded "well if I can't call him that, what can I call him?" He laughed and gave me some names to use.  I didn't know it then (if I had, maybe I would have run far away) but this boy would become one of my best friends, my confidante, and the shadow of my love life for years to come.

And then there's moments, that seem so innocent at the time, that change the course of your life.

In college, I forgot to pick up a package from the front desk of my dorm for a week. It was something I needed for my internship but I kept forgetting to get it from the front desk. That Saturday night, I saw the slip on my desk reminding me to pick up the package. I finally made my way downstairs to pick up the package and struck up a conversation with the guy sitting behind the desk the one I had been eyeing in my psychology class. What should have been a basic, easily forgotten conversation, led to one of the best friendships and the love of my life...as I married the guy sitting behind the desk.

Because I realized that summer after I met him, as we got into a fight, and I cried on his best friend's shoulder in the basement while he fumed upstairs....that if he were to stop talking to me that night, I would miss him for the rest of my life. I knew at that moment that I would fight for us; for our friendship, for our love. I'm glad I did.

....

I think about these moments that brought these people into my life and all of the moments since; the good, the bad, and the ugly.  While some of them are not in my life anymore, my best friends have played an important part of shaping who I was, who I am, and who I'm going to be.

And for that, I can only be grateful for having them as a friend and playing a part in my life in some way.

Because without them (even those who I'm not friends with anymore)? Without that friendship? Without that love? Without the stories to tell, adventures that were had, the laughs, the conversations, the time that was spent?

I'm not sure who I would be without them.

___________________________________________________________________________________
This was written for LJ Idol Season 10, Week 2: That One Friend. I was originally only going to write about Sara who really was that one friend that my mother had no idea how to handle or relate to (in contrast to everyone else where my mother saw them as one of her children). But my other friends past and current/loves/crushes wanted to make an appearance. Apparently, they want to think that they're that one friend too! So I chose my best friends past and present - that one friend that was always there by my side when I needed them.
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