oh this made me cry so much. i'm very close to my mum and i don't know what i'd do without her. i felt the same way about my grandma who was like a second mum to me. i was only 17 when she died and it was seriously like losing a parent. my mum herself was very close to her own mum as well, so i could relate so much to what you wrote. i'm so sorry for your loss *hugs*