Oh, gosh, that was so recent. I lost my mum to cancer when I was 21, so I barely got the chance to have the adult friendship I would've liked to have had with her. I often tried to make her proud, so I didn't do anything to rebel against her either. I'm glad you're taking comfort in the feelings you know she had for you. I still think about my mum that way, more than 11 years later.