xlovebecomesher | LJ Idol Season 10: Invitation

"Hillary, how would you like to make $10,000?" My father asked me immediately as soon as I answered the phone.

"No hi, no nothing?" I asked with a laugh.

"Hi," he replied impatiently. "So what do you think about making $10,000? It's easy money."

"Aba," as I always call him by the word for father in Hebrew, "I have a feeling this is not easy money."

"No, no, it is. Just say yes."

I paused for a moment trying to figure out where he was going with this. My father is a man of a million and one get rich quick schemes; most of them either immoral or illegal or both. I don't know if I want to know how he wants me to make this money but curiousity always gets the better of me when it comes to him.

"Ok, Aba, I'll bite. What do I have to do make $10,000?"

"Well, actually $5,000. I'm taking half because it's only fair." I could picture him nodding his head.

"Wait, you're already taking money so it's not even $10,000?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm the one getting you the money!" I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off. "Fine, 70/30. Just listen to me. You remember my friend, Alex, that you met last week at the Shabbat dinner at Eli's house?"

I did remember. Alex was a very nice, handsome guy, a few years older than myself, who had moved to the U.S. a couple of years prior from Israel. I had met him and his girlfriend Suzanne, a very intelligent and beautiful woman from South Africa around the same age as myself.

"Yes, what do they have to do with this money?"

"Everything! Alex's Visa has expired and so has Suzanne's. They both don't want to go back home because they'll be seperated."

"What does this have to do with me and the money?" I wondered aloud.

"Just listen!" My father ordered. "They'll offer you $10,000 if you marry Alex so he can stay in the country."

I almost dropped the phone in shock.

"It's a good deal! People don't just make $10,000 just like that!"

"But it's not $10,000 because you want your share," I replied back inanely.

"So $7,000. It's good money!"

I remembered thinking at that moment, this would make for a great headline "Father sells daughter into illegal marriage for a profit of $3K!" I shook my head at my moment of whimsy. "Aba, first of all, this is illegal! If we get caught, I'm going to jail! Second, this is not even worth $10,000! It's not even worth a million because I'd end up IN JAIL! Third, I have a boyfriend who I love very much!"

"Eh, just tell him you're getting married and you can be with him on the side," my father shot back not even paying attention to my first two points.

"No!"

"Hillary, come on, how can you say no?"

"Easy, no. There, I said it. I'm not marrying someone to keep them in the country - there's no money in the world worth that unless it was me marrying someone I love!"

"But $10,000! Lev agreed to do this for Suzanne. Why won't you agree to do this?"

"No! Besides how the hell is this supposed to work in you and Alex's twisted minds? And who is Lev?"

"He was at the Shabbat dinner too," my father reminded me. "He was the young guy who just moved here from Israel. He just got out of the army. Lev has dual citizenship and he said he'd marry Suzanne to keep her in this country. The three of them already have an apartment together. You would just move into the apartment with them and then you all can say you're roommates and you can see your boyfriend whenever you want. So if he can do it, why can't you?"

"Because I'm not fucking insane like the rest of you!" I yelled. "I'm not risking my life, my future, and my relationship! NO!"

"Think about it," my father advised. "You could use that money. It's only for a couple of years. Besides, you won't get caught."

"No!"

"You're making a mistake! Think what you could do with the money!"

"Not much because you're taking a profit!"

"So?"

"ABA, NO!"

"You don't have to yell," my father reprimanded me. "I'm not sure what I'm going to tell Alex because I thought for sure you would do it so I told him yes."

"WHAT?"

"Well, I need the money too, Hillary. You're being selfish. He was also going to let me live in the apartment with the four of you. Now, what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't care what you do! Leave me out of it!"

"Fine. Your loss. Someone else will marry him and make good money." My father sighed, ruminating on his lost opportunity. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"I won't."

"You sure?" My father asked hopefully.

"Yes!"

There was quiet for a moment. "I have to go," he finally said.

"I love you, Aba."

"I love you too," he responded distractedly. As he hung up, the last thing I could hear him tell someone was: "Her loss. She never listens to me."

...
This was written for LJ Idol. The topic is invitation. This is based on a real conversation I had with my father; yes, he really wanted me to marry his friend so his friend could get citizenship and no, he did not care about how illegal that was or what that would have done to my life. He didn't give up on trying to get me to agree to marry Alex for weeks. It has become a running joke among my husband and my friends about the time my father tried to sell me! Suzanne and Lev did get married and she did get her citizenship as far as I know. I'm not entirely sure what happened with Alex but I do know he's still in the U.S. so I assume he has his citizenship by now but I'm not sure how he went about it.